Let’s just get right to it, shall we?
1. PAY ATTENTION – If you TALK LESS and LISTEN MORE to a potential mate, over time they will reveal all you need to know about them. Everyone likes to talk… so LISTEN.
2. FRIENDS FIRST – It’s best to start out by building a friendship. Let’s face it… the sands of romantic feelings shift with time and can be washed away by the smallest of things, (bad habits, for example, which is discussed in #5 below) but the strong foundation of friendship will better endure the storms that arise. A fundamental “liking” of someone will carry you thru times when they become difficult to love.
3. COOL YOUR JETS – The successful construction of a friendship depends upon postponing a physical (sexual) relationship for as long as possible. There are all kinds of funny comments out there about how the head between your shoulders doesn’t work well when things get “hot and heavy” elsewhere (an expression from the 60’s… google it) and it’s true… so ask yourself “Is this someone I would want to be with if there was no sex?”, because… well… eventually that may end.
4. TAKE YOUR TIME – For at least 1 YEAR, through all 4 seasons and the holidays, to see how your love interest handles it all. Everyone can fake it for a while, but certainly after being together for a year you will catch glimpses of any possible “dark side” they might be concealing, moments when they are “just really themselves”.
5. BAD HABITS – Pay attention to your new friend, cool your jets and take your time to notice his (or her) habits. Ask yourself “Can I live with this?” if he picks his ears with the key to his Volvo in church or if she delights in being rude to the wait staff whenever you take her out. Do you really think you can change another person? If you do, go online and sign up for the relationship webinar titled “Stop fooling yourself”. Try changing yourself first and you will find you have no time to do this service for others.
6. CHARACTER – No, this isn’t about whether they ARE a character but rather do they POSSESS good character. Perhaps the most important attribute to search for (like a beautiful pearl in an oyster) is a HEART FOR OTHERS. Is it a priority in their lives? Hand in hand with that is do they CARE FOR THEMSELVES. The balance between these two attributes defines all of us.
7. LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS – They want what’s best for you and are capable of seeing things in the relationship that love has made you blind to so do what smart sightless people do… rely on your seeing eye dog. Seek the advice and thoughts of your trusted others and listen to the advice of your friends.
8. SIMILARITIES – In movies, chemistry and physics opposites DO seem to attract, but for real lasting relationship-staying power you need to have a large body of things in common between the two of you so that the need to tolerate and compromise is kept to a minimum. Opposites may attract two people together initially but similarities will bind them for the long run.
Property management is easy but maintaining a lasting loving relationship is not so easy. I hope this writing helps you.
